Comments on: Team Free Write for Oct. 8

By: Ethan

Ethan — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 22:05:17 +0000

sweet dialogue

By: Claflin

Claflin — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 18:12:22 +0000

Tim had a dream. All his life he wanted to a world famous toothbrush maker. He spent so much time thinking about tooth brushes. I have a pretty sad life he thought. All I think about is tooth brushes. And yah. “I will expand my horizon to dental floss!” He thought once, and I will make a nuclear powered tooth brush! But one day his tooth brush leaked radiation and he grew five more heads and was hunted down by east african head hunters. The end.

By: bschauerhamer

bschauerhamer — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 04:24:00 +0000

I would have to agree with Z here about the ending. It flowed greatly and then a very disappointing ending. It seems as you disregarded the previous authors and continued on the original part of the story.

By: bschauerhamer

bschauerhamer — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 04:20:33 +0000

Opens ones imagination to what might come. Running out of time may be a good thing.

Opens the imagination as to what might come or what has already passed us by while we were slumbering in another world.

By: bschauerhamer

bschauerhamer — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 04:18:57 +0000

Its a shame how fragile life can be, one little “slip” and it can end in an instance.

I should really proof read before I hit add comment.

That should be It’s a shame how fragile life can be, with one little “slip” it can all end instantly.

There I am happier with that comment. Disregard the one above it.

By: bschauerhamer

bschauerhamer — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 04:17:23 +0000

Its a shame how fragile life can be, one little “slip” and it can end in an instance.

By: n8christensen

n8christensen — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 03:31:59 +0000

Opens ones imagination to what might come. Running out of time may be a good thing.

By: Danica

Danica — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 03:29:55 +0000

That is great story. It reminds me of a scene that would happen in high school.

By: Danica

Danica — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 03:27:16 +0000

I like all the detail in the story.

By: n8christensen

n8christensen — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 03:26:57 +0000

As I stood upon the cliff, I was scared as hell thinking what was going to happen. “Go on and do it!” yelled Mark. I knew that it would be my only chance and Mike was thinking the same thing, it would look like an accident . Everyone would think he slipped, only I would know the dark secret as he fell to the ground. We all knew this is what he wanted, but it didn’t feel right being there. Just as we all thought he was ready, Jennifer was crying histerically as she witnessed the jump. They ran to the edge wondering how it would end. As she looked over the edge they saw the very thing that hoped not to. The body lifeless among the bouldery rocks.